Francine Russo wrote a recent Times article called "Who Takes Care of Mom?," addressing the challenges of sibling dynamics when providing care for aging parents. She wrote a personal account of making the wrong choices in allowing her sister to take on the burden of caring for their aging parents.
Russo writes that an estimated 43.5 million adults in the U.S. are caring for an older relative or friend, and 43% of those people said they felt as though they had no choice. Such frustration not only leads to discontent within the family, but also can lead to a sense of entitlement that perhaps mom or dad’s money should be given to the caretaking child – and sooner rather than later. As a fiduciary litigator, I see too often that frustration and burn out manifests itself as financial elder abuse.
So when deciding "Who Takes Care of Mom?" you should also decide who is taking care of mom’s money. Ignoring either leads to trouble.